August 2011: Back in the Blog-o-sphere

So here I am...just turned 40 and still fighting the battle of the bulge--literally! I had the most fabulous birthday this year, I was rather shocked actually! My BFF completely surprised me with an impromptu visit...well she had been planning it for months and I had NO CLUE! Still cannot believe everyone knew but me...what does that say about how clueless I am?? LOL  It was the best surprise ever! I missed her so much.  She brought along with her another very close friend I haven't seen in 10 years, since my wedding! We lounged and spent some time in South Haven---not long enough but it was a fun little road trip! Spending that week with Sarah and Karen was a fabulous and perfect way for me to turn 40! The only thing that would have made it more perfect would have been to be relocated to Paris---God I want to visit there someday. I think I want to start studying French again....

Speaking of wanderlust....I do have that bug again! It rears it's ugly head more often than I want it to.  At least I've got John interested in getting our passports so we can travel, especially now that the kids are getting older. Plus, I live vicariously through my BFF who travels everywhere! She is a lucky girl living out our dreams...

On a healthy note, am I any closer to my goals? I am not sure. I am enjoying this summer off and learning how to relax, and by that I mean really relax and enjoy life and my kids a bit more and appreciate what I have. My husband bought me a patio set for the back deck for my birthday. At first I wasn't sure that was such a great gift for me personally, but a great family gift. However, I use it almost every day! I wake up early and go out there and sit and enjoy my coffee and breakfast. I read out there or bird watch. I have a new found appreciation for the huge oak tree that encompasses our back yard. I just sit and star up at it and all the nature it possesses...it's amazing and gives me a sense of new found joy. Weird but I like it. I'm eating much healthier, I drink more water and eat more whole grains and fiber. We do more physical things as a family, like swimming, hiking, biking, and now tennis. So maybe I have reached a few of my goals after all.

It's been a really good summer so far. Really good. 

September Whizzing By!

Another year at school has started and September is almost out of sight! I cannot believe how fast my life is moving these days! School started (3rd, 8th, and 11th grades) and I started subbing right away. We have one vehicle, 2 jobs, 3 different schools, gymnastics, soccer, soccer, part time jobs....needless to say, I'm a busy woman with not much time on her hands these days. But I don't quite long for the lazy days of summer just yet. I'm rather enjoying this crazy mixed up life, as frustrating and busy as it is, I am living the life I always wanted. When things get too crazy and I want to stop and cry I'm so exhausted....I think about how much I wanted kids and everything that goes along with it and I smile. We are all happy and healthy and staying out of trouble...what more could I ask for at this point? More money, a 2nd vehicle...maybe! LOL

New job..new me? I have found a job that I rather enjoy and get a lot out of actually. I didn't think that existed for me. I felt I was doomed to just never being happy having to work for a living. Since we have not struck it rich and I can no longer afford to live in the lap of luxury and not work (luxury, funny word! LMAO), I went back to substitute teaching now that school is back in session. However, I started subbing as a paraprofessional in the Special Education Department. Fancy word, paraprofessional, isn't it? It means, I assist a professional in their job. In this case, the job is teaching and I assist the teacher and the students in need. I don't have to have a teaching degree, but they do prefer some college. It doesn't pay nearly as well, but the job is just as satisfying without all the headaches! I feel like I'm making a difference and I get to be creative. My days are never the same and I'm always learning something new. I leave each day looking forward to coming back. That has never really happened for me as far as my so called career. I'm applying for the permanent job today, so wish me luck girls!

I bet you are wondering if I'm still going to the gym, aren't you? I AM! I make it in there at least 2-4 times a week depending on the schedule and I'm doing more physical activities with the kids outside of the gym. And since the beginning of summer, I'm down...drum roll puuuleeeeeezzzzzz.....20 lbs! I'm doing a real low carb diet plan and no sugar, for at least 2 weeks now and counting. My carb cravings stopped after day 2 and I have to tell you my blood sugar has evened out and I feel pretty good. We'll see what next week's weigh in has to say....stay tuned!

FAVORITE days...

Today was a beautiful late summer clear blue sky day in Michigan. Took my daughter and her friend to our favorite lake and I just can't stop smiling. The water is much cooler than earlier in the summer but still so refreshing and very clear. I love the water...I think that I come from water somewhere deep in my soul and many lives ago...LOL. I just wish I could hold my breath forever so I can swim longer down at the bottom and look at the fish and the sand. It is all so fascinating to me...that whole world that exists down there. The green trees blowing in the breeze alongside the lake was breathtaking. The warm sun beating down on me as I read Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. I'm still smiling. This was my favorite day!

WTF---A CARDIO CLASS? ME?

So...the other night at the gym I met this really cute trainer guy. Side bar: Why are cute trainer boys floating around the gym so charismatic and personable? He talked to me for a while about health and fitness and about...not giving up and getting moving. Shocking I know. LOL Anyway, he invited me to take a cardio class he was teaching this morning. I NEVER do the class...I like going at my own pace. But...I decided to just do it. It was definitely something different...and I really liked it! There were women in there from 18 - 70, just like he told me there would be. He made adjustments to some of the exercises for those that couldn't do them, but kept the music up beat and kept us all moving. It totally kicked my butt! But seeing all these women who didn't really know each other cheering each other on and just having fun. It was inspiring and is still making me smile. 6 hours later and I feel sore but really good. Really...sexy actually. Maybe it is the endorphins...but I feel lighter somehow. Like weight has been lifted from me somehow. I'm wearing something I haven't worn in awhile because it's a little revealing and shows my curves too much, something I don't like doing much anymore. But tonight, I'm going out to dinner with the family and I'm showing off my curves and I feel sexy. My husband is going to get very lucky tonight...and he should thank the cute trainer boy. LOL

Besties Back at the GYM! WOOT WOOT!

Both Sarah and I are back in the gym this week! Great minds really do think alike..even hundreds of miles away! No bike riding yet, but it's only Tuesday! Met one of the trainers at the gym who invited me to one of his cardio classes this week and I think I just might do it! He told me that exercise and diet are both equally important factors in losing weight, and if I could find a way to exercise at least 5 times a week that would be a huge step in the right direction of my goal of being healthy and fit. I don't want to be skinny...I want to be healthy, this I know for sure! I enjoy food too much to ever be a skinny beyotch and I'm okay with that! And yes, Sarah and I pronounce that word "bee-ahh-ch." LOL

Another 15 Miles...Woot! Woot!

So I put another 15 miles on the bike this past week. I was hoping for 20, that's my goal, but my husband had a slight accident with his bike so it made riding together a bit difficult. I am riding more hills...boy is that killer on the leg muscles! And I'm always the last one up the hill that everyone is waiting on...love that..NOT! But I tell myself it will get better...keep at it...keep at it...keep at it. Now it is the beginning of a new cooler week with the coming of the fall season and I'm excited about not sweating my ass off when I ride!

It's like riding a bike....

No really, it is exactly like riding a bike! Who knew I would actually find an exercise I don't hate and I actually look forward to and make time for?? Astonishing isn't it?! Well, it exists...for me anyway and I'm so excited about learning to become more stealthy on my bike. I started out with a beach cruiser bike..simple, big seat for my big girl butt (LOL)and no gears to deal with! I loved this thing they call bike riding! Way better than walking everywhere! But when I wanted more...like to try going up hills, even the slightest of inclines on the sidewalk...forget about it! I needed gears! My legs could not handle it! So I stuck my toe in the pool of gear bikes...and oh that water was cold at first but it warmed up quickly! Last weekend I put 17 miles on my husband's second hand B-list mountain bike! 17 MILES!! He of course rides the A-Lister happily alongside me and is ecstatic we can enjoy this physical activity together. I like it because now we can bike as a family all around town or on the many trails Michigan's parks has to offer. Now the seat, I'm still trying to get used to...it did things to me that I can't even explain....but my hubby kindly put a gel cover on it and it rides soooo much easier on my private parts...LOL

I'm BAAAAACKKKKK!

Has it really been six months since my last posting?? So much for my New Year's Resolution of not giving up! Well, at least I'm trying to get BACK ON TRACK, finally! Where to begin...spring came and went and now summer is just starting its downward slope towards fall...my other favorite season! I love the summer because I'm a swimmer and I love lakes and all forms of water really. So my tan is deep, but as for exercise...no gym but my husband did purchase me a new beach cruiser bicycle for our 9th anniversary in May and I have a new found love of bike riding! So my exercise regimen has been chasing after my nephew, taking care of the house, swimming at the beach or pool and occasional bike riding around town. Not bad, but I've pretty much gained back the weight I lost at the beginning of the year. Not all of it but several pounds...I'm too ashamed to even weigh myself or stick my head back into the gym at the YMCA! But a very close friend said something that hit home recently. She said she was very into self-awareness and self-discovery and reading some books on the subject. I thought, WOW--SELF? ME? Being a stay-at-home-mom for so long, like most of us I've lost site of who ME really is and what I really want, outside of the kids. Mostly, I want them to be happy, healthy and thrive. Everything I do revolves around that idea. But lately, I've become short, frustrated, and somewhat bitter. It finally has dawned on me that what the kids need is for mom to find happiness again--happiness within herself. It's not just about losing weight and being healthier...that's only one portion of it. I need to do some self discovery of my own and I think it starts with a JOB. Wish me luck!

Week 5 Wizzzzzed By....on to Week 6!

Okay, so I apparently lost a week! Actually....last week was Week 5 and sadly, I did not go to the gym 1 time....I felt so guilty! But Auntie Flo came to visit and boy was I exhausted...not to mention crabby, bloated, crampy, emotional---that was one hell of a visit! They seem to get worse with age these little visits and I'm not liking it one bit. So, to make myself feel better I bought myself Godiva Chocolates--my ultimate indulgence! The Grand Truffle is my new fav---YUM! It's so yummy it is orgasmic! Seriously, ladies you must try it when you are feeling down in the dumpers because it is an instant fix!

So fast forward to Week 6: down 3 more pounds! WOOT WOOT! Total weight loss since January 1st is 13 lbs! Not bad for 4 weeks of hard work and 1 week of a depress fest---LOL! Got back in the gym today and did some strength training and then hopped on the stair climber for 25 minutes--without stopping! I haven't tried that in years but I needed to jump in to this whole work out thing and get things moving with something different so I thought, what the hell--let's go for it and see if I can do at least 10 minutes. I surprised even myself and if it wasn't for my right toes going completely numb, I would have stayed on another 10 minutes! I have new tennis shoes Sarah, so no scolding! I think maybe it might be time to seek medical advice--at least that of a podiatrist. But that was one heck of a work out--1.65 miles in 25 minutes and about 250 calories burned--according to the machine. I then came home and had spicy buffalo chicken lettuce wraps: 1 cup chopped baked boneless skinless chicken breasts, drizzle with Frank's Red Hot sauce, 1 tablespoon low fat sour cream, salt/pepper to taste and chopped 1 cheese stick. Scoop into head lettuce leaves for that nice crunch! YUM

MILESTONES

Winding down Week 4 and I finally reached my first milestone....10 LBS!! Can I get a WOOT-WOOT?! I was so excited and yet still in disbelief, I weighed myself 3 times at the gym then once at home---same results! I'm down 10 big ones! YAY ME! Now that is progress! I also reached another milestone: walking on the treadmill 45 minutes at an average speed of 3 mph! If I didn't have to go pick up my daughter I could have gone longer---I'm increasing my stamina! I did some more lap swimming this week as well--boy does that kick my butt! Want a great workout? Try swimming a few laps in the pool continuously, only stopping to catch your breath when you need it, or put your breasts back into your swimsuit, whichever! See, I bought the low cut swimsuit over the summer and MY MOTHER told me it looked the best on me, even though I thought it was a bit low cut. Turns out I was right for once! It's okay for the beach, but not the YMCA and certainly not for doing anything strenuous in the pool. Time to get a new suit!

Week 4: 3.5 Miles in 20 Minutes --SAY WHAT?

Okay, I tried the stationary bike tonight! That's how I did the 3.5 miles in 20 minutes....had you going though didn't I? I actually surprised myself and even got into the gym this weekend! I know, right?! I'm shocked as well. It is actually getting easier to get in the habit of going and even wanting to go. Hey, I just said it's getting easier! C R A Z Y! I actually enjoy the rush of adrenaline I'm getting and when I get home from a work out and eat a little protein (a little tidbit I picked up from the gym---okay my hubby) I find I have an incredible burst of energy! Usually when I do the strength training then cardio. Tonight I made a quick snack for the kids, cleaned up the kitchen, did laundry, got the kids showered and ready for bed, made lunches for everyone for the next day, got breakfast stuff out and ready for the morning and ate my protein snack all within an hour of coming back from the gym!

My protein low carb snack for the evening was quite tasty. Lettuce, a handful of baked boneless skinless chicken chunks, 1 low fat mozzarella cheese stick cut into chunks, and 1 tablespoon of light sour cream. Mix it all up and VOILA! YUM! If you want to cut more fat/calories then omit the cheese/sour cream. But because I'm only using 1/2 a serving of the sour cream and 1 low fat cheese stick, I'm okay with it. It's also NOT Cheetos, which is what I really want right now! Fat Girls UNITE---We enjoy some Cheetos! Who wouldn't? Crunchy or Puffy---sigh. I'll save the Cheetos for another night after the scale shows definite PROGRESS! By the way I'll do the weigh in the morning naked---every little bit helps, right?

I love keeping containers of chicken chunks in the fridge for snacking! Usually 1-2 times per week I will buy a big package of boneless skinless chicken breasts to bake in the oven and cut into bit size chunks for salads or snacks. I drizzle the pan in a little olive oil and rub some on the breasts too (ladies, get your minds out of the gutter--especially you Adrienne!LOL)then season with whatever I have on hand--garlic, salt & pepper and Mediterranean basil is my favorite seasoning mixture for the breasts. Bake on 350 for 40 minutes and they are juicy and tender! I slice and dice and throw into plastic container and throw it in the fridge. Next time you want a snack, try a glass of water or Crystal Light (LOVE IT)and a few chicken chunks. We like Frank's Red Hot on just about everything in our house, so I toss some in there and throw in lettuce---keeps me satisfied and full. Just a suggestion! Please comment if you have any healthy snack ideas for me! I love to hear what others are doing! Okay---time to unwind for the evening....smooches!

Progress is Progress

I was exhausted and it was only 11:35am! Welcome to Friday for the stay-at-home-mom! I left my cushy bank job for this? Marta, I know you are chuckling right about now! I had nothing but a few scraps left in the fridge/cabinets for kids lunches and Dad polished those off at 2am! What is a mother to do when the school rule is to order hot lunches the day prior?? I understand the reason behind the rule to prevent waste but it is still annoying! I then run around dropping everyone off at school and work and go to the store to get lunch stuff so I can run back home (for the 3rd time this morning) stuff it in the lunchbox (the Walmart bag would not have gone over well with the 1st grader) then run it to school just in time for the lunch bell to ring---WHEW! Oh, and of course I had to run back to my husband's office after the store to provide him with bananas and protein bars that he just couldn't live without today---OY do we need another car!! Finally by noon I make it to the gym, even though the house is still trashed from the morning rush. But I told myself to get into the gym for an hour, and you know what? Some things ARE getting easier.

Today I decided to give my joints and my feet (no Sarah, still no new tennis shoes yet! I know, I know!) a break and do 30 minutes of lap swimming. For a treat, I promised myself a few minutes of peaceful meditation in the sauna afterward. Talk about rejuvenated! Okay, the easier part....the stairs! Taking the stairs to the locker room didn't make my heart feel like it was going to explode! My knees weren't shaking when I got to the top. I turned around and looked down the stairs and smiled because I was only slightly out of breath and could even do more stairs! Maybe the strength training is working. 4 lbs and stairs....progress is progress no matter how little.

Week 3: Hard as can be...

After taking a long 3 day weekend off from the gym, it was HARD to get back into the routine! The easy way is to just say you can't do it, or don't have time or make up a ton of excuses about needing a few days off---the reality is if you take more than 1 day off from the gym, it is even harder to get back into it!! At least for the fat girl it is! You get back into your comfort zone...whatever that may be...TV shows, books, computer time, sleep....or laundry and house cleaning. That's when you DRAG yourself to the gym and say I'm not giving up and I will get back in there because I'm different. That's right, something has changed and you can't back out now you have to move FORWARD. Scary as it may seem, this mantra actually works!

I hit the gym today and did my weight training first then hit the cardio and got a pleasant cramp about 25 minutes in to my cardio work out! I slowed down and finished at 35 minutes but that is 10 minutes short of my daily goal and I only walked 1.5 miles. And that's not even the most depressing part...I'm only down 4 lbs---2 weeks and only 4 lbs??? Okay I admit over the long weekend I had ice cream and then made a sugar cookie crust fruit pizza (not on the same day mind you), but come on....I've been working my butt off in the gym and really trying to watch my carbs and calories. So now I'm facing another hurdle---depression. I got back into the gym only to get knocked back down again---this sucks! I want to eat a cheeseburger now please...make it a double! There's that comfort zone again. So what's next? Text someone....I can always count on my BFF to lift me up when I'm feeling down! And she came through as usual, with flying colors! She told me how proud she was of me for getting back in there and sticking with it anyway, regardless of what the scale shows. And she told me once again to buy new tennis shoes that will support my feet, which obviously I haven't done yet--DOH! The numbness and tingling after 25 minutes of cardio is still there then today add to that the cramp in my calf probably from doing too many calf raises or too much weight. I need to slow down and take a deep breath and realize I can't sprint my way to a new body or healthy me. I need to think of life like a marathon--an event of great length requiring exceptional endurance. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Thanks Sarah! I love you man!

Family Night at the Gym and The Importance of Strength Training

Friday night, when most couples are going out to the movies and dinner or dancing, we took the family to the gym---and had a great time! We could all do our own thing, couple up and do stuff together and then all come together to swim in the end! What a better way to spend quality time with your kids? Dad walked the track with the 2 younger ones while the teenager and I worked up a sweat in the cardio room. Then the younger girls went swimming by themselves and Dad joined us for some lessons on strength training. This looks like it will be our Friday night ritual!

Did you hear me say strength training? Yes you did! My husband, who has spent the last year and a half losing over 100lbs and learning about how to become fit and healthy, taught me the importance of adding strength training to your work out. I know, how annoying is that you ask....he stops drinking Coke and eating cheeseburgers! But, truth be told he has really developed his will power and started working out and being active. Who knew that was really the secret? LOL He did remind me of something I had long forgotten since that weight training class I took back in college (remember that Sarah?). Strong muscles help you lose weight. And it's not just the exercise involved to become strong that matters. Muscle tissue burns as much as 15 times more calories per day than does fat tissue -- even when at rest! Nothing stokes your metabolism better than muscle! Stronger muscles help your heart perform better with less oxygen---meaning you can increase your stamina on the cardio machines! It also helps protect your joints and your back from excessive strain when exerting or lifting. This aids in treating and preventing arthritis. Have I convinced you yet??? I'm adding this to my 5 day cardio plan at least 2 times per week, maybe 3 times. It's best to give your muscles a day of rest in between strength training especially when starting out. Also, ask for help on the machines from someone who works at the gym and take their advice about how many reps and how best to tell if you are really pushing yourself. My husband said if you get to the 5th or 6th one and you start feeling the burn and really have to push yourself to get to 8 or 10 depending on how many reps you are doing, then that's a good starting out weight. The other night I did my cardio first then did the weights, but next time I will try doing the strength training first on fresh legs to really see what I can do. I can tell you that I did the ab and lower back machines last night and definitely feel it this morning! But my husband told me that after a few months of using these machines and improving his back muscle strength, he no longer has any lower back pain doing normal every day activities---as I do now! So I'll let you know what happens....

Feeling the PAIN in Week 2 and Deb's new adventure

Week 2 of the New Year contains many aches and pains--both physical and metaphorical! Tuesday was a bit of a struggle getting into the gym, but I did it! Could not quite jog as much because my legs felt like jello and my thighs were pulsing from the Hip Abductions (hope I got it right honey!). By Wednesday I was wrecked! Now mind you I started out on a completely new adventure Wednesday morning...substitute teaching! That's right folks, I am subbing. My first gig was for 2 groups of preschoolers, morning and afternoon classes. It was great! Circle time, ABCs, colors....LOVED IT AND LOVE THAT AGE! I went home feeling so good about my decision to quit my full time (and then some) job in the home mortgage/banking industry and become a part time substitute teacher. I went to the gym with the family this time and did some walking around an indoor track so we could all be "together" and found out from some strange man who took it upon himself to stalk me and my gait, that I apparently need something called orthotics and to see a podiatrist asap! Went home with such a splitting headache and could not actually do any type of real workout whatsoever. Then Thursday came along.....

Today I picked up another gig at an elementary school as a "floater" for some testing they were doing. I taught 1st graders in the morning and 4th graders in the afternoon. Can I just say, OMG! Let's just say I'm drinking a vat of wine right now and sent the kids to the gym with their father. No workout for me today, need a mental health hour so I'm taking it now! So basically I had 1 girl ask me if I wanted to see her new "booty" dance, listened to another tell some boy she was going to punch him in the face and he started to cry, one young man complained he didn't feel good and then threw up in the room because we didn't send him to the office, and the principal caught 2 girls in the bathroom discussing something "nasty and inappropriate" and suspended them---and this was 1st grade! I'm NOT KIDDING! It gets better...so the afternoon was filled with loud obnoxious kids throwing dominoes, refusing to do their assignments, so loud I could not hear the principal over the intercom, fighting (girls of course--oh the 4th grade drama) bathroom visits every 10 seconds--including 1 girl who explained to me that she had a hard colon and would be in there for awhile while she waits for the poop to come out as her friends giggled behind her then asked to also go to the bathroom (not too obvious, right?)---the 4th grade teacher almost looked giddy when I came to her class because she got to LEAVE! What am I doing? But out of all that chaos, I also met some pretty, bright, smart, attentive kids. I guess that's why teachers choose to do what they do and where they do it. It certainly isn't the pay or the hours (hello, lesson plans are done on their own time). It's that one young girl sitting quietly amidst the chaos doing her social studies assignment and doing the next day's assignment. The ray of sunlight peaking out from the clouds. That just made me smile. Could be the wine...lol

Week 2: 2.2 Miles in 45 minutes

So....here we are in Week 2 and I'm still at it! And not hating life...yet LOL! I'm 5 pounds down and my tummy was not liking all the protein! The works had a bit of a clog so to speak--sorry to get so personal! But when I decided to do this journal/blog for the world to read (all 3 of you), I thought it would help to just be myself and brutally honest. If I'm not honest with myself, then it just won't work. I've found that I actually feel better and stay fuller longer if I a) drink more water, b) lay off the carbs and c) eat more lean protein. So now I snack on nuts and boneless skinless chicken chunks instead of pretzels or my fav...Baked Cheetos...mmmmmmmmm Sorry, momentary fat girl munchie moment! Anyway.....tone way down on the sugar and high fatty foods and stick to salads, soups and fruit options. I know, all the stuff your momma always taught you right? Took me 38 years to figure out just how right she was....everything in moderation though so I have had a slice of carrot cake and I have had a pinch or two of chocolate but that keeps me sane through the process. And honestly, it's real. I'm going to want chocolate, ice cream, brownies...I just need to learn how to feed the fat girl without losing sight of the petite flower within. Not only did I walk faster today for my 2 miles in 45 minutes...I walked 2.2 miles and actually....are you ready.....JOGGED 4 minutes of that 45! My knees didn't buckle, the treadmill didn't fall apart, the earth didn't crack below me...I can jog? Really?

Same Resolution, Different Me

If at first we don't succeed.....yes, that's how I begin every new year! What's the resolution ladies? LOSE WEIGHT! How are we going to do it? EXERCISE AND EAT RIGHT! Is it going to be easy? HELL NO! Are we going to give up? Yes, as usual. But the good thing is there's always next year.... Don't give up! Never give up! Get back on that wagon and drag it all by yourself if you have to but DO IT! That's what's different this year, me. I'm more determined than ever to put Will Power to the test....and let him succeed! Not sure why this year is so different, it just is. I'm different. However, it could be the fact that my husband recently lost 100 Lbs--that's right I said 100 Lbs! WOOT WOOT! And I'm the one that got him to do it! Yeah, I stopped laughing about that one after a few weeks. Could also be the fact that I'm getting oh so closer to the infamous 40 marker----EEEEK! Funny, I don't feel old but when my mother was 38, boy did I think she was old! Could be that my kids are wearing me out and stressing me out and I have no outlet other than screaming at them and freaking out---they love that. So what's the answer you say? YMCA---that's right ladies, we've had the membership for year and only use it upon occasion. But different me goes to the gym. She works out. She uses the gym to work out her aggressions, regrets, depression, PMS, fat girl rage---you know it's real! So different me is hoping for a different outcome this year. Different me wants to start FEELING GOOD again and reconnect with the petite flower that resides within. Happy New Year!